I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
