I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
