Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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