Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He better not be in your backpack
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
