He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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