Got a toothbrush?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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