i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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