we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
birth control should be required to get into college
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
