You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
