Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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