It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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