IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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