Having a random hookup so left but love u
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
