I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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