Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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