Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
