hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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