Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
