i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
