ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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