I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
