Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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