Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
