Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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