Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
