Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize