So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
