Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
