I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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