he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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