Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
