So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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