i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
