see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
