fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
