woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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