living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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