he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?