what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"