This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
