Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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