I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
