My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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