I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
