Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
