Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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