Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
