If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
