kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
