he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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