Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
