that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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