why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
