We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
