i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
