you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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