Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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