there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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