I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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